Silence is a Lie


There are so many places online that say just because you haven’t talked to someone in X amount of time doesn’t mean that you’re not still friends with those people, or that something has gone wrong. I believe those to be true about half of the time. The other half of the time it’s someone refusing to be upfront with you and hoping to let the friendship die. Hence, silence is a lie.

I had a friend when I was in Morgantown, we were really good friends actually. But when I moved away we grew more and more distant. She said that she just didn’t initiate conversations that much and that she didn’t know what to say. Since she has Autism, I figured that I’d actually believe her, and that it just wasn’t her way to reach out to people.

However as more and more time went on I started getting the feeling that it was much much more than that. That it wasn’t just her not reaching out due to autism, but he not reaching out because she wasn’t interested in being friends at all. About Six months ago I reached out to her, and told her how I was sorry that I had ignored her advice in the past, and that I really valued her as a friend when we were close and how I would like to get back to that point. She read it the same day, yet didn’t reply. I chalked it up to going “I should respond to that” but then forgot it. So, I messaged her again, and asked her to please take the time to send a response. What I got back was that she wasn’t interested in any sort of friendship and feels that we should keep our distance. When I asked if there was any possible way that I could fix this or to make it better, she told me no. So.. fine. It’s her choice to decide who to be friends with.

However, I find it so incredibly rude that as someone (her) who prides themselves on being straightforward and honest, she decided to remain as if we were friends, just never speaking to me. I would have much rather preferred being told “Hey I’m really not interested in being your friend anymore” or even just removing me from facebook. She then stated that when Dennis and I were at her house that I did many things that pissed her off, or upset her. Yet, instead of speaking to me about these things, she just let them boil up and she kept them to herself. There is no way I can ever know I’ve done something to piss someone off unless they tell me that I’ve done so. I, nor anyone else in the world, am not a mind reader.

Sadly, all of this happened while I was at an event, so my mood plummeted. I had even debated cancelling going to my friend’s baby shower at that point. Simply because I had lost someone that I once considered a really close friend.

I ended up going to the baby shower though, and had a lot of fun. It was a shame that Dennis and I couldn’t stay there longer, but I’m glad that we got to see them, and her progression in being pregnant. Though we had terrible planning on the whole thing. We ended up getting the baby shower gifts like 20 minutes before we got to the shower, and didn’t have time to wrap them or anything. Both of us were a bit mad at each other for our poor planning :/

Alas, I have two weeks free of not having to drive crazy distances, or really leave the house if I don’t want to xD. February 2nd we leave for the Netherlands, we’re spending 3 weeks there, and I’m really looking forward to it.

I hope to start blogging every day, but I’m not sure if that’s possible for me or not =3 We shall see.

Oh yeah, new layout 😀

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